Observe Your Own Behavior

Learning is not just accomplished in the classroom. Children are learning all the time and not just when we are teaching them. In fact they are probably learning more when we are not paying attention. Children mirror our behaviors, so before you criticize, make sure you’re not the source of the behavior.
How many of us remember wanting to be just like mom or dad only to be chastised when we did something they do. Some of you reading this may well remember the gum sticks in the shapes of cigarettes. Hard to believe they every sold such an item today. Children do learn what they live, so you need to think about what are they learning living with you. You have heard, “you are what you eat”…well your children are in part what you model. So, if there are behaviors you do not like in your children, step back and see if your child is mimicking you. This is a tough one; it is not easy to admit that your behavior is being reflected back at you in a not so positive light. But you need to remember this; all behavior is learned. The trick is to find where the unwanted behavior comes from and go back to that point and effect change.
There is of course the old standby, discipline etc, but to truly change behavior, one must go to where the behavior originated. Trying to change or stop behaviors without looking at their origin is like trying to stop internal bleeding without looking for the cause. Band-Aids only work so long. Trying to change behavior will take time and patience, but it can be done. The payoff is worth the effort.
What we know:
Telling your kids to behave when you are not just destroys your credibility. Do as I say, not as I do does not always work. You can’t really get mad at your kids bad behavior if it mirrors your own. Two sets of rules will not resonate with them. “Because I’m an adult” only works in so many situations. I know my father’s favorite line; “Do as I say, not as I do” did not do much for us as kids.
Children live what the learn
If they see you do it, they will too.
They are in as sense mirrors of ourselves, the good the bad and the ugly….
So, the misbehavior you dislike may be your own
Most behavior is learned through observation and listening; what are you teaching your child?
Say what you mean, mean what you say and think about what your actions convey.