Unconditional Love

They need to know they are more important than anything they do.

First, I want to apologize for being away for so long. Life has a way of getting in the way of your own dreams, mine of which is to help parents enjoy parenting more and stress less. Sometime, it’s a difficult lesson to teach and live at the same time. My work as a social worker for foster care has kept me extremely busy this past month supporting my parents to be able to provide the best environment and love for the children in their care who need so much love and understanding, more than some of us can fathom.

Foster parenting requires the utmost amount of Unconditional Love. The children have been through so much, and have limited self worth due to the lack of unconditional love in their early lives. I can’t tell you how incredibly important it is that your child knows this love. It is the foundation of human nature and social relationships. That being said, let’s look at what Unconditional love isn’t: It’s not doing everything for your children, or excusing their inappropriate behavior because they are your babies or you don’t want to upset them or have them not like you.

It’s about loving that child for who they are as they become an individual and they will sooner or later want to be their own person. It’s about discipline and discouraging bad behavior. Remember, there are no bad children, only bad behavior. Too many parents attach the label “bad” to the child simultaneously with behavior. If a child is constantly told they are bad, eventually they are going to believe it. This leads to a lack of self worth, which can lead to so many other problems. If they think that no matter what they do, they are bad, they may give up trying.

When we focus on teaching what behavior is expected of our children and why, our children will have a better sense of what is expected of them and conversely, discipline becomes easier. We all make mistakes, one should not feel that one mistake defines us for the rest of our days. A discouraged child will succumb to nefarious characters looking for a child who feels unloved and unvalued by their family. That is the main premise most cults and gangs run under. Find someone willing to do anything to feel accepted and they are yours to manipulate as you see fit.

Children need to know unconditional love in order to believe in themselves. They need to know that you will be there when they fall, help them brush off the dirt and figure out how where things went wrong and how to get back on track. Think of how lack of self love and self acceptance affects all of us. The things we do to “fit in” What do you want for your children? Unconditional love allows children to accept themselves for who they are, believe in their unlimited potential and have compassion for others. Sounds like a good place to be.